I absolutely understand the issue with thinking “women like doing these things.” (After all, I am a woman who does not enjoy doing these things.)

My point here wasn’t the social-wide message. I understand that this is a social-level problem, but the “you” I was addressing here is the individual “you” in interpersonal relationships — my mother, my office admin, my friends.

Nobody needs Mom to bombard us with gifts, nobody needs the office admin to bring in donuts once a month, and nobody needs “Becky” to plan every birthday —and yet they all continue to do so, and we more or less let them. It’s only fair to assume they enjoy it on some level. If not, the situation is truly irrational.