Thanks for your note :)
The differences between my previous partners and this one were both subtle and major. They were great people who looked wonderful on paper, but were missing something key.
It varied, but they all eventually led me to understand the three things I need in a partner: emotional stability, critical thinking, and friendship.
To cover the only 4 partners I even briefly considered marrying (the “misters damn-close-to-right”):
- One was emotionally stable, hard-working and made me laugh — the type any parent wants their daughter to marry — but wasn’t a critical thinker. I’d get abstract or insightful (as I do) and he’d either not respond or fight it, which was mind-numbing and soul-crushing after a while.
- One was emotionally stable and successful— the type most girls want to marry — but wasn’t a critical thinker or my best friend. Our conversations were simple, we rarely laughed together, and we shared zero inside jokes.
- The next one could finish my sentences, volley one-liners back and forth until I laughed so hard I’d cry, and also think critically, but also became an overly-emotional stage-five clinger.
- The next one was a critical thinker who could also make me laugh, but he was a very toxic and emotionally unstable codependent.
My current partner is an emotionally stable and smart best friend. He understands me. He makes me laugh. He’s consistent and solid AF.
That’s all I need to be insanely happy.
