Yeah, but you see this as a good thing, and some of us don’t.

Your focus was The Date Experience, not The Person. You say “it wasn’t just about the person,” but by the sounds of it, it wasn’t really about them at all. “The person” was just someone to step into the role so “the date experience” could happen.

Some people prefer The Person, and we reject “the process” (“the date experience”) because we recognize it as superfluous.